Fashion Sense.

I think know my toddler has more fashion sense than I do.   Yesterday morning, she pulled on her socks - and I folded them over.  "NO, Mommy" she said and kept them long. Then she proceeded to pull on the brand new boots that I had gotten for winter over the socks.  They looked adorable on with her dress.   The boots are too big, so I was not thinking of them at all - but, clearly she was.   We had to compromise on other shoes, because the boots were, in fact, too big... but, what a lesson in letting your kids figure out their own style.  I usually let her pick out stuff from a choice of 2-3 outfits -- and so far, she's surprised me with some inventive and really fun outfits. 

Bad Mother

Can i just say that i really can't take the GUILT that gets thrown at you when you pick up kids from daycare. I realize now that it wasn't the lady at the other daycare because i'm getting the same crap from this lady -- who i like a whole lot more -- but still, she had the nerve to ask me what i fed Molly this morning. At pick-up she told me that Molly's poop was black. I asked her if it was very loose or very hard, and she said it was normal, but just black. And I'm like, lady - I have one kid and I've seen every color poop already - how is it that you haven't?? Should i really be alarmed by black poop? What - you think i fed her black licorice for breakfast? But she looked at me like

A) It was the weirdest thing she ever saw and

B) clearly i did something to cause it

So we move on from poop, and she tells me how Molly isn't eating as well as she used to. And i remind her that she's teething now so it's probably that. So that seemed to satisfy. So she tries to find another topic she can nail me on. She tells me about Molly's diaper rash, which keeps coming back, but which, of course i know about - and she tells me "it really hurts her." I tell her we just got new medicine that should hopefully work. But i swear, i feel like I'm on trial defending myself to this lady. As if i don't care or know about her diaper rash! I know that girl's butt better than anyone, trust me.

Uch - is it just that there's no way to ask about this stuff without making it seem like we suck as parents? Or am i just letting my working mom guilt take over? I don't know, i swear there's a way to ask these things without making it seem like I'm a shitty mom.

and we begin...

Friday Izz finally began pre-school.. in my mind anyway.

She got out of the car without complaining and I never heard "no pre-school". She walked in and showed her blanky and horse to her teachers.. They asked her if she wanted a snack. She said yes, and left my side without a peep. I signed her in, gave her a kiss and walked out. My heart was not broken.. my daughter finally started pre-school!

Princess!??!

I asked Izz if she wanted to wear a dress today.  "Yes" she said.  She got a choice between two comfortable cotton dresses that I like.  She picked one out, and when I put it on her she said, "I'm a pretty Princess."

HUH?? When did that happen? Izz has never seen a princess movie, she doesn't show much interest in dolls -- so, when did she become a pretty princess?   I was kind of hoping my little girl would skip that stage.

sigh..

more on pre-school later.

When did my 2 year old turn into a 2 year old?

I don't know if it's because she's more tired at pre-school or because she hates pre-school and blames me or just because she's finally figured out that she's supposed to give us a hard time because she's 2.

Tonight was the second night of huge upset over one of our bedtime rituals. Two nights ago it was because she wanted to stay sitting on the potty... 20 minutes of this (not kidding) later, I finally said ENOUGH.. and tried everything in the book to move to the next part of bedtime. If she had her way.. bedtime would have lasted 3 hours.

Tonight it involved putting on a diaper/pull up after bath time. HUGE meltdown. I attribute this one to being exhausted... but, man.. she gave me the run around. I tried EVERY parenting trick, discipline tactic.. and even a time out (1 minute long) -- and in the end.. I had to force her to put them on. Her meltdown turned into my meltdown. Not my finest hour.

Daniel had all kinds of advice at the end -- I put up my hand and said No. Because really, do you want your spouse to give you advice on what they would have done after you've gone through something like that? NOOOO..... you just want to curl up in a corner and hope tomorrow comes quickly. Maybe tomorrow night he should try bedtime. Of course, tomorrow will be the night she's amazing... or maybe I WAS right -- and she blames me because I'm the one that drops her off at pre-school -- and she really does have it in for me.

Preschool... the parenting lesson

I thought my well adjusted, amazing little girl would have a great time starting pre-school. Boy was I wrong.

The first day, I went in with her and stayed a bit, she sucked her thumb but, she was interested in the teachers and the play dough.  So, she walked over and started working on play dough and I left.   I called the school and the secretary said she was doing great -- and when we picked her up, she was playing with some other kids. When she saw us though, she got very emotional and started crying and wanted to be held. I think the emotions of the day caught up with her. 

The second day, she did not want to even walk through the fence.  She was so tentative and it took a lot of coxing to get her through the door.  Finally, I told her I would read her a book inside - and she followed me. When I got inside, I went to read her a book, but, it was clear that my presence was upsetting to the other 2 year olds who also missed their Mommy's.  One of them, Lily, started crying. The teacher came over, and started reading to Izz -- and then walked her over to the play dough to get it out.  Isabella's big eyes filled with tears and she stuck her fingers into her mouth. I offered her blanky and she took it, clutching it -- and held onto my leg. Honestly, at that moment, I would have just picked her up and taken her home with me... but, I knew that she would be fine once I left.  My heart broke as I walked away.... when I called the school to check in the secretary said that she was doing great.  When Daniel picked her up, her teachers said that she was a joy all day. 

Third day, she didn't want to leave the car at all.  The teacher could see us because they were outside playing -- and she waved at Izz and Izz waved back and smiled. So, clearly she likes them .. but, still she did not want to get out.  Finally, I said - how about I walk in and we go see Miss Holly together.  She said "ok" very tentatively and got out of the car and followed me (clutching her blanky).  We walked in, and Terri scooped her up and took her to play.  She started to cry... and Holly (Miss Holly) waved at me to go.   So, I left.  Again - broken heart.

This morning, she got out of the car willingly, but, wouldn't walk through the doors of the pre-school. I coaxed her for over 20 minutes and she was just so upset (not crying, just really tentative) that she wouldn't budge. I tried everything, being stern, being caring, joking, incentives and nothing worked. Finally, the door opened because the teacher was taking the kids outside. They walked past us, and Holly came over and tried to get her to go play. Finally, I noticed (again) the kids starting to get a little upset that a Mommy was there - so, I told Izz, "I'm going sweetie, I'll see you in a few hours" and walked away. Holly picked her up and she started crying. When I called later, Miss Terri got on the phone and said, "I think the long goodbye's are worse." ... I know I know I know. I'm doing the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to do. But, my little girl is having a hard time transitioning, and clearly... so am I.

Milestone madness

Lately, I've been panicking about Molly, who just turned 14 months, being "behind" her peers - late to walk, late to talk -- according to the "norms." How do you keep yourself from obsessing about this stuff and worrying there's something wrong -- or my favorite, that I'VE somehow done something wrong to stunt her development?? I know, it doesn't help to compare kids, and Einstein didn't talk till he was 3, blah blah. I just want her to be ok....and love her and accept her for whoever she is. But, I'm still working on that in myself!! Wow. More and more I have come to understand that you REALLY can't understand being a parent until you are one -- it's a huge challenge and i think has the potential to bring out your best and worst - but more than anything it can help you become a better person yourself as you work to help this little person become themselves...

Sleepover

Molly is having her first sleepover at my parents tonight!! Tim and I went on a date and saw Crazy, Stupid Love which is SO much more awesome than you might expect -- very very smart and real and funny. And now it's so VERY weird to be home and she's not here and we miss her SO SO SO much. But it's also kind of exciting, like to know that we could stay out all night or scream at the top of our lungs if we wanted to!! (wish i could say that's what we were doing, if you know what i mean, but instead we were home by 10 and now we're watching tennis in our jammies and going to bed -- which is nice too)...