Monday, June 13, 2011

I'm angry at myself and my husband

A few months ago I instituted another part to bedtime -- snuggling. My sister-in-law Kaye does it with her kids right before they go to bed. They curl up in one of the kids beds after story time, and they just snuggle in close and cuddle. Since Izzie is still in a crib, I can't really snuggle with her in the bed -- so, I hold her in my arms and we just say goodnight to our families and cuddle together with her blankey..

And now my husband has ruined it!

He liked the idea of snuggling.. so, he started doing it BEFORE brushing of teeth and story time.. and he did it in our bed! Izzie curls up with him in our bed, then they brush teeth, read stories, and then cuddle again in the chair. This seems totally counter-intuitive! The whole point of snuggling is to have that last moment cuddle before you slip off into dreamland.

My toddler loves his way of doing it. And I am really pissed by that! It was MY idea, he stole it and now she likes it better.... I've tried skipping it.. and she demands it, "SNUGGLE SNUGGLE" and runs off into our bedroom with her blankey. I've tried doing it last, right before sleeping -- but, she loves it so much that it causes strife between us rather than that sweet moment I was hoping for. Seriously.. why did he have to change things?? If you are going to steal the idea, at least do it right!

For the last 3 days Izzie has had a fever -- and I've gotten little to no sleep because she wakes up feverish. So, I'm sleep deprived AND worried that my little girl has something wrong with her (pediatrician says not to worry until a fever has run it's course for 4 days) AND since she has a fever, we can't take her to day care.. and since we live in San Diego, we don't have family that can come over and take care of her while we go to work AND I had to go to work today, couldn't switch my meetings -- so, Daniel took off work, but, what are we going to do tomorrow... I digress...

So, bedtime is going really well - and we are having a good time. I pick her up to snuggle on the chair -- and she pulls away and heads to the door, "SNUGGLE" she demands, she wants to go to our room. I try to reason with her -- but, she's 2! And I lose it. Mind you... I never raise my voice.. I am one of those Mom's who keeps her cool 95% of the time. I can, with all confidence, tell you I'm really good at that. But, I yelled... I was really upset. OVER SNUGGLING? Who am I? Why? I can't explain it -- someone else took over my body! It's ridiculous! I took her into our room and just held her ... she curled into me (after she stopped crying because i never raise my voice) .. I told her I was sorry.. and she patted my cheek. Do you think she forgave me?

Seriously, I feel awful. And I think I really need to get a little perspective here. It's snuggling for goodness sakes...

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