The Tony Awards

I'm sitting here watching the Tony Awards. I've stayed away from all media (Facebook, Twitter, the NY Times website, google) for the last 3 hours so that I can try and see the show in blissful ignorance. I did have a slip up - and I just saw that Normal Heart will be winning for Best Play - but, I knew that would happen.. so, it's fine.

The point here is that I feel totally separated from that world right now.. and it SUCKS! I'm not in NYC, I'm not working on a Broadway show... I'm not in NYC. Why? I know I know I know -- this is my choice. I have a great and steady job in Theatre (a rarity if you know anything about theatre) working for and with amazing artists (many of which are were in the Beacon Theatre tonight). Yet, I can't lie... I'm jealous and I'm feeling really discombobulated right now. Working on a Broadway show is exhilarating, it really --- there is nothing like walking into a stage door and knowing that you were a part of what's on stage.

It probably doesn't help that Izzie has a high fever (and no other symptoms), so, I'm worried about her and I don't have any family or really close friends here. And... and... I do have a good life here.. I have started to make friends, I started running, we are starting the adoption process (which, if I were still freelancing in NYC, we probably couldn't do because I would have a crazy schedule).. I work at a great world renowned theatre where I have gotten to meet amazing artists and gotten to do really spectacular work. But, dammit -- I miss it. I really do. And... I feel awful for feeling this way.